The other day, I was watching a video on Facebook that blew my mind. This woman was going on-and-on about what women need to do to get a man. If I were to meet her face-to-face, I would...Give her a High-5, a major hug and say, “You go girl”. She was talking (or preaching) that no man wants to be “Handled”. He wants to be loved, respected and to feel appreciated, but NOT handled like a piece of luggage. Would you? In our pursuit to bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan, we forget to BE the luscious women we innately are. Then you wonder why a man won’t commit.
Does it ever feel as if you have to drag your man along like dead weight? If you’re handling him like luggage, no wonder.
Maybe when you start to get close, he goes running for the hills?
Or, do you feel ignored and invisible?
These are the million dollar questions I hear from many women. At one point in my life, I was asking the same questions until I realized the answer was smacking me in the face, but I was too blind to see it. I was caught up in my own “stuff”. Asking myself, “What does she have that I don’t?”, “I’m better looking than her, so what gives.” And, “I’m smart, successful and cosmopolitan, so why is my love life dry and barren like the Savannah Dessert?” I was so tired of dead-end relationships.
I finally opened my eyes and saw the light - men will commit to a “High-Value Woman”. A “High-Value Woman” is confident, authentic, intelligent, charismatic and passionate. Is this you? Are you fierce and fabulous because your inner confidence is anchored in self-love and not fake bravado? This is a woman men will pursue, want to impress and fall madly in love with. I’ll be honest in sharing this was a deep connection I desired to experience.
Let me point out, there’s a clear distinction between a “high-value” woman versus a “high-maintenance” woman. When you value something, you give it time, attention and treat it like a precious gem. By contrast, when you maintain something it’s like a job, you’re having to work at it. You maintain a car, mortgage and your home. If not, it will fall apart. Do you go skipping gleefully to the mechanic? Heck no. Many men won’t commit to a high-maintenance woman no matter what you see on Reality TV.
If nothing else, remember this juicy tidbit, men honor and respect what they have to work to get. Yet, don’t misconstrue this with being high-maintenance. It’s more about the symbiotic nature of the thrill of the chase, where you’re both fully engaged in this lovely banter and play. This ties into a man’s competitive nature which signals to them, “If it comes too easy, then it holds less value because anybody can get it.” To them, there isn’t anything special about it. Men have this ingrained belief, whether it’s conscious or not, when it comes to life and love. This is why a woman should never throw herself at a man, or chase him to the ends of the earth, when it’s clear he’s not into you. As a “High-Value Woman”, men will chase you, cherish you and do anything to please you. But most importantly, they will COMMIT to you. Not because they have to, but because they want to.
So beautiful one, this is how a man will COMMIT to you:
- Let Go of the Past! When you have the courage to let go of self-defeating behavior and past hurt, is the moment you have freedom. Any man you desire isn’t going to put up with being compared with your ex-boyfriend, lover or husband. He’s not the resurrection of your past, so don’t treat him as if he is. Otherwise, you’ll fall victim to repeating the same mistakes. Then “yes”, he’ll be another story in a line of bad relationships.
- Focus on Being Authentic! Remember, you’re the common denominator in what you attract. If you want to experience the best, you have to BE the best version of you. This means being authentic and loving yourself mentally, emotionally, physically and sexually. My yummy Vixen, you are a sexual being! So for the love of all things holy, claim it and stop being afraid of it.
- Kiss Sabotaging Behavior Bye-Bye! Let go of typical female sabotaging behavior, because it’s ruining your chance of being with a good man. I ask you, drop the insecurity, jealousy and envy like a bad habit. These behaviors aren’t cute and they turn men off, and out. To have the man of your dreams commit to you, lovingly heal the inner demons that trigger these feelings. Your man support you, but it’s not his job to heal you; that great distinction belongs to you.
- Rock What You Got! Take pride in how you look! Please understand this isn’t “superficial” nonsense or try to mislead yourself by thinking the outer packaging doesn’t matter. How you express yourself on the outside is a direct reflection of how you feel on the inside. This is the case if your everyday attire consists of sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt or manufactured “beauty” - that is purchased hair, nails, boobs, ass, and vagina, a little nip there and a little tuck there. And yes, you can buy a booty like Beyoncé and a va-ja-ja like the latest porn star. You want your outer beauty to reflect your inner beauty.
- Tap Into Your Power to Attract! Focus on what you want in a man versus joining the pity party of what you don’t have. You hold a tremendous power within you to attract the relationship you deeply desire. Would you rather be in the driver’s seat of your love life? Or, do you want to follow the advice of friends that either may be single or are in a relationship that’s lost its sizzle?
- Sing the Accolades of a Yummy Man! When you start praising the deliciousness, intelligence and strength of men; this will produce a magnetizing energy propelling your man to your front door, and lovingly encouraging him to commit. As a “High-Value Woman”, your energy will be a beacon calling out to your man. There are no tricks, gimmicks or false promises. Just a woman that fiercely stands in her own personal power, inviting her man to stand with her.
- Get Your Sexy Back! Boldly proclaim you “LOVE and ENJOY sex”! Sex is good, sex is natural. Sex is that 3 letter word you should passionately embrace. Being in your full sexual glory also demonstrates your self-confidence and self-love. Let me ask you? Who brainwashed you into thinking sex was shameful, wrong and a whole host of other things. Do these same people look happy and content in life? Or, does it look as if the life has been sucked out of them - frustrated, judgmental and angry. Tapping into your sexual expression will awaken your body with joy and raise your vibration to attract and sustain love.
- Come Out of the Closet! Get from behind your computer and get your pretty little booty out there. This is essential in meeting your mate. Keep in mind, you’re not on the prowl, unless you want to be. You’re BEing fully engaged in life and savoring every delicious drop. To be in the company of a man who desires to commit, you have to fish in a different pond. This may require you to put on your “big girl panties” and venture outside your comfort zone. It’s this sense of adventure which holds the most potential and the greatest opportunity for true love.
If you feel defeated in love, there’s a way to soar towards your dream. It’s having the willingness to shift self-defeating thoughts and behaviors. It’s a willingness to invest in yourself, not sometime when but now.
Here’s a quote from my friend and associate, Paris Love…“When you say, I'll do X, Y or Z when I have the money, it's a trust issue. When you say, I'll try this or that when I get the money, do you not trust your faith in yourself that this is an investment into you? If you don't invest in yourself who will. If you don’t love yourself, how can anyone else love you? Consider this, why do we have fire departments? To have someone there to respond to the fire. You wouldn't disband the fire department because there aren't any fires. Would you?”
You’re taking a loving stand for yourself, not the other person. A “High-Value Woman” invests in herself, in her healing and in her personal growth.
So my sassy little filly, what does this mean for you?
- You will be a woman who knows she’s “more than enough”
- You will be a woman who’s authentically herself and is loved for who she is
- You will be a woman who’s confident and has a strong self-image
- You will be a woman who’s intelligent, uses her brain power and is able to communicate
- You will be a woman who’s physically uninhibited, adventurous, and loves intimacy and sex
- You will be a woman who’s seductive, alluring and has the ability to master the male mind
- You will be a woman who’s proud of her womanly graces since they make her uniquely who she is
- You will be a woman who’s independent and has a full life of her own
- You will be a woman who believes a relationship will compliment her life, not complete it
And… You will be a woman who values her own viewpoints and beliefs more than the opinions of others.
If you embrace any of my pearls of wisdom, you will find a man that will be ready to commit…TO YOU!
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