On July 9, 2014 Attorney Merissa Grayson joined us as a guest on Tribal Wisdom Radio as a part of our July Hot Topics month. The conversation was full of great advice about co-parenting. Download and listen, then please rate and review (how to rate and review our podcasts) - let others know how you were helped by the advice given during the show!
Merissa V. Grayson is a Southern California Attorney whose work focuses on Divided/Blended Family and Personal Development.
The Author of The Business of Co-Parenting, a ground-breaking series written for parents and step-parents who are struggling with either making the transition into a Divided/Blended Family or struggling with co-parenting peacefully, Merissa has built a reputation for being the Divided & Blended Family Expert, helping separated and step parents navigate the dynamics of Divided/Blended family relationships and principles in order to build a better future for their families.
Topic: The Business of Co-Parenting
Our talk with Merissa Grayson was focused on taking steps to help blended families adjust to change. Marriage and conflict changes your family so much; and with good co-parenting your children are so much more stress free that it’s definitely worth taking the time to focus on making sure that you repair or develop your divided and/or, and/or blended family.
Situations that can create Divisions in a blended Family -
· 2 parents who were in a relationship with each other, and now one of the parents are in a different relationship.
· A child created during a fling.
· One of the parents is usually still dealing with a lot of emotional issues.
· One parent is just not ready to be a parent.
· One parent wants to parent at their own convenience
How to create change in the stressful situation -
1. At some point you have to get to a place where you say, “Okay, forget the way I feel about you, and my reason for feeling this way. We have to figure out how to deal with it; get over it; let’s talk it out; let’s go to counseling”.
2.Do whatever is necessary in order to move on from the negative feelings, and start to treat your co-parenting relationship as a business relationship; which eventually takes the emotions out of it and then everything else can begin to fall into place.
Points to remember -
· Even though you and the other parent are separated, you still are a family whether you want to be or not.
· Sit down and recognize the dynamic of your family and emotionally move forward.
· Go to counseling; or go to a co-parenting class; get coaching; sit down and have a conversation.
· Open a custody case.
· Establish the paternity of your child.
· Have custody arrangements in writing that can be enforced to avoid confusion.
· Get your agreement formalized which will then become a court order.
· If you don’t want the judge to have a say at all then you can go to a private mediator. They can draft your agreement for you and file it with the court in order for it to become an order.
· Spend time with the child right away, establish a routine
Merissa is currently working on a divided and blended family book series for children. Each will be done in age groups between 3 and 6, 7 to 12 and then a series the series for the teenagers who are going through it as well; because teenagers do face something completely different than a 5 year old.